Ways of Getting Over a Broken Heart
Most of us have been through a breakup at some point in our lives. Some individuals easily get over it while some do not. One behavioral psychologist put it this way:
“Breakup is a state of dreadful emotional loss. People suffer through the intense feeling of pain, grief, and sadness. People often get hurt from the breakup as they are in physical pain, sometimes, it is more than that.”
-Jo Hemmings
We can say it is like an inner body burn. People who have had bad breakups go through five stages of pain:
• Rejection
• Anger
• Haggling
• Depression
• Acceptance
Broken hearts are a result of broken expectations. Communication throughout the relationship is key in helping to avoid these broken expectations. Listen to what your partner is saying, and then watch his actions. It’s a clear warning sign if what he does and what he says are mismatched. If you started acting extra lovey-dovey once you noticed that your ship was sinking like the Titanic (that your relationship was coming to an end), you probably helped your ship to sink faster, and I hate to say it, but there’s nothing more disgusting than to see a person desperate for love. Think about it!
Suppose you had some guy pining over you like that, how would you feel? Now, imagine what your ex must be feeling about you. Confidence is so much sexier. One should be confident enough to walk away from a toxic relationship. I know it is a hard pill to swallow, but at least you will be ready in case you have the unfortunate event of experiencing another breakup in the future. You may break your heart from unrequited love as well, but the pain and hurt are just the same.
However, hope is always present. Light exists at the end of the long, dark tunnel. By keeping this in your mind, you should believe that you can still find your Mr. Right. But there is a question, how can you move on after a heartbreak? Just like you can’t decide your time to fall in love, you also can’t decide how much time you need to get over it. All things simply take time, and the best things are worth waiting for. However, there are things you can do to try to get over your broken heart.
Different Ways of Overcoming Heartbreak.
1. Believe in Yourself
Having a heartbreak over a relationship not only hurts you emotionally, but it also affects your brain, body, and mindset. You don’t want to get out of bed, you lose your appetite, and you always cry. Due to excessive crying, your eyes will swell, and sometimes you may experience a suffocating feeling. You may even feel hopeless like no one can help you. But after some time, you will get through this. First, you must believe in yourself and that you can move on. You are worthy of so much more. You deserve someone better. You deserve a happy life. After the rain, the sunshine always comes. For example, there are a lot of people in the world that have gone through heartbreaks and are still smiling and living a happy life. This can happen for you, too.
2. Talk About It
According to research, about 90% of your pain fades away by just talking about it. It would be much better if the other person not only listens to you but also understands your feelings. By sharing your thoughts with people, you feel less hopeless, and you also realize you are not alone. When people don’t have anyone to help them, they suffer the most. In the Bible, it says that two people are better than one. This is because they can help each other through thick and thin. If one person falls, the other helps him get up. But if you are alone, then you are in real trouble. So, find a family member or friend you trust and tell them all about it. If you don’t have someone with whom you can share your secrets, talk about your pain to a stranger you will never see again. You will be happy you did this.
3. Feel Your Pain
Always remember that you are a human being, and you feel happiness, sorrow, anger, jealousy, and excitement. We all know going through a breakup is very difficult. It is hard feeling these emotions when you don’t know how to get rid of them. Feeling pain makes you human. We must let our raw emotions out. Find a comfortable place and let your tears flow. Feel your pain, and if necessary, cry out loud. People usually say, “Strong people don’t cry.” They are wrong. Strong people know how to express their emotions. Some people avoid their emotions because they think it makes them weak. If we feel our pain, we can deal with it honestly. If we run from it, then the pain will come again.
4. Take Your Broken Heart to God
After having a broken heart, it is very important to go to God. God is the only one who can truly heal your broken heart. Some people believe that this piece of advice is of no use, but that is not true. Every person is designed to both give and receive love. Everyone has someone special in their life that they can express themselves to and who will love them unconditionally. That someone is God. God always loves us, no matter what we do or have done in the past. If we have this belief, then we can take various forms of rejection from others. In the Bible, it says that God loves every human being unconditionally. With imperfect love in the world, God continues to draw humans to Himself. Go ahead and feel what it is like to be loved by the Creator and tell Him everything you feel after the breakup. He will not only listen to your broken heart but also help you heal it.
5. Get Help Through a Therapist
Experiencing heartbreak often leads to anxiety, stress, and depression. At the end of the relationship, people might be angry, confused, and sad. Even the person that takes the first step to end it often feels inner turmoil. To enjoy life once again, one can also get help from a therapist. A therapist is very supportive and helpful to the healing process, especially when anxiety and depression are involved. They help you reclaim your self- esteem and overcome post-traumatic stress. A therapist also helps the person deal with suicidal feelings after the breakup. In therapy, most people discuss their emotions and negative feelings. People get help to end the relationship in a true sense and stop any cycles of self-blame and regret.
6. Make Plans
Life does not stop after a heartbreak. There are many things besides a relationship. One of the best things you can do after a breakup is to spend quality time with yourself. Envision your future in a fresh way. Start planning your next five years and focus on yourself. Get a degree or diploma in a field you are interested in. Make plans to travel, hang out, and have dinner with your family and friends. When you’re completely healed, you will be grateful for the learning experience. Now is the time to live life for yourself.
7. Try Something New or Start a New Hobby
During a healing process, you should try something new. Try playing with colors. Paint different things. Colors have a very positive effect on emotions. Throw your energy into something productive. Start a new hobby like gardening. When you sow seeds, water them, and witness them grow, you will understand nothing is wasted and how love is reciprocal. Explore yourself and enjoy different yet meaningful hobbies.
8. Cut Off Every Kind of Communication With Your Ex
There is no place in your life for those who have broken your heart. If you truly want to get over the pain, then you have to cut off every form of connection with toxic people. Stop texting them. Stop pleading with them for their love. It is shameful to beg for love. Some may ask, what if your ex texts you? What if he wants to get in touch with you? There is a soulmate for every person in the world. If you are still stuck in your past relationship, then how can you start a new chapter in your life? Simply tell your Ex to stay out of your life and don’t interact with them anymore, unless you are sure you have finally moved on.
9. Write About It
Writing about your feelings is therapeutic. Sometimes when feelings turn into words, they affect you less. Start writing journals daily or at least once a week. You will start learning about your feelings, and if you truly understand them, you will have a way to deal with them. At the beginning of heartbreak, you don’t even understand why you are hurting so bad. When the hurt you are feeling is expressed on the page, you will feel much better.
10. Give Yourself Some Time
Everything takes time, just like if you had an accident and your leg was injured. The doctor may advise you to do some exercises and prescribe you some medication. But after following his advice, recovery still takes time. Healing does not take place overnight. Similarly, if your heart has been broken, then it also takes time to completely heal. Everyone thinks you cannot feel normal again, but God has created us in such a way that our wounds always heal. But some people heal faster, and some take longer. Just be patient with yourself. The deeper you feel, the slower the process of healing is. There will come a time when you are smiling again, and everything seems new.
Key Takeaway
As human beings, we suffer from emotional pain at different times in our lives. The important thing is if we have learned anything from our experiences. If we don’t learn lessons from our heartbreaks, then we’ll make the same mistakes again and again, continuing to get hurt. But if you learn positive things from your past relationships, then you will become a better person. We become more sensitive, empathetic, understand other perspectives, and help others going through the same pain or heartbreak.
Remember, life always continues. No one promised you that it would be easy but believe that everything happens for a reason.
